I’ve seen the looks.. Me, pregnant, out and about with my 3 children and no ring on my hand. You’d think that this wouldn’t be an issue today, but it is. They look. They assume. People that find out my children and I don’t share a last name make the assumption even more. The truth is, I’m a very happily married woman.. I simply do not wear a ring. I also never changed my name.
I had a ring. Two, actually. Then this crazy thing happened and I continued to lose a large amount of weight. My finger dropped 3.5 ring sizes. Not in one fast chunk, either. When we purchased my wedding ring, we were told that because of the process to enlarge it, it could not be shrunk down. So, it sits. Unworn.
I’ve just never felt the need to replace it. I know I’m happily married, my husband knows we’re happily married and a gold band on my finger wouldn’t reaffirm that fact. Besides, there are so many other things I would prefer to spend that much money on.
However, when people see the lack of ring, you can see the thoughts – “Oh, the young pregnant mom without a ring.. How sad for her.” I can only imagine their thoughts when they see my husband and I out together.. Him with a ring, me without. I don’t even have a ring indentation any longer.
But this is not about my weight loss or my wedding ring. It’s about judgmental people and assumptions. I don’t understand why we as people feel entitled to judge others based simply on what we see on the outside or what we think we know of them.
What you see or think you know is likely not enough to base any sort of judgement off of. The assumptions need to stop. Are you entitled to your opinion? Well, of course you are. We all have opinions. However, when your opinion is based off of false information that you’ve assumed on your own merely by what you’ve seen alone.. Your opinion no longer matters, even if you are entitled to have it.
Would you trust my opinion on a piece of baby gear I’ve never used? “Well, I saw it and it looks nice.. therefore it must be fabulous!” No. You want my opinions on products I’ve actually touched, handled, used. Products I’ve gotten to know.
If you wouldn’t buy a car without test driving it first, what makes you think you can properly judge a person, far more complex than a vehicle, simply by their outwardly appearance? You can’t. We should stop assuming we can.